Running Envy or insecurities?

The holidays seem to be a hard hurdle for a lot of other runners I know. For me it was supposed to actually be great. I had time off and I was going to be able to really focus on my training. On December 22nd I set off on my first 10 mile run. I covered it in my last post. I had some knee pain/discomfort towards the end and it kind of made me uneasy. I took some time off (5 days) and I set off again. This time I made it just over 1.5 miles before the same pain/discomfort returned. This was not what I was hoping for.

Now, logically I can think about it and it was icy so my stride was odd since I was dodge ice and trying to not fall. It was also cold again. I did decide I needed to look into this so I sent and email to the amazing PT who I did the RunFit assessment with in the Spring. His thoughts were the weather, the ice, the distance and just kind of a strain. He recommended me taking some time off and really focusing on stretching. I did wait 6 more days and I headed to the gym for a warm run on New Year's Day. I got  in just over 2 miles and it was OK, not perfect but OK. I went 2 days later and got in almost 3 with even less pain. So, I am unsure what the issue is but I am running.

I did go see Dr. K and he runs so he was able to check things out a little. He did not feel any signs of a stress fracture or anything major. He did not think it was my IT Band because the pain is lower than it should be. He said to take some Aleve and head out and do what I could. So Saturday I had an appointment for a massage and I followed it with 6 miles!

Now, at around 4 miles, this same pain came back but it quickly "cracked", like a knuckle cracking and I had no issues for the next 2 miles. So this weekend the plan is for another shot at 10 miles. It is supposed to be over 50 so I am excited.

Now, where does this envy or insecurity fit it? It is from reading about others online. So many people are saying that they are hardly training, they finished the PHM last year with hardly any training, that this is no problem. I think I am envious because I know I have been training (yes, I could be doing more) but I am out there. Even with this I am worried. I want to be happy with myself when I finish. I want to be able to enjoy time with Jeff at the parks and I want to finish saying I DID THIS, not I survived. I don't know what these other ladies are going to feel like after the race or the day after but I WANT TO FEEL GOOD!!

I have to accept that everyone is different. I don't run a 10 minute mile, I don't rock out Magic Miles like they are nothing, I don't plan on having a rocking time, I just want to be proud of myself, and to get a few awesome pictures during this race!!

Only 45 more days until Disney. I cannot wait. Princess Weekend--Here I COME!!